What is Spoon Theory and How Can it Help You Manage Your Energy?

Have you ever got halfway through the day and felt completely worn out, even though you haven’t done anything particularly “big”? Or maybe you’ve found yourself having to spend the entire weekend on the sofa just to feel even remotely ready for the week ahead. If that sounds familiar, there’s a concept that might help you understand your energy better: it’s called Spoon Theory.

What Exactly Is Spoon Theory?

Originally created by Christine Miserandino to describe the daily reality of living with chronic illness, Spoon Theory has since been embraced by many communities, particularly neurodivergent people, as a way to explain the invisible costs of simply getting through the day. But the beauty of Spoon Theory is that anyone can use it. Whether you’re neurodivergent, chronically ill, or just tired of feeling tired all the time, thinking about energy as spoons can help you take back control.

Here’s the idea: each morning, you wake up with a limited number of “spoons”, a metaphor for your energy and capacity. Every task you do costs you spoons. Some things might cost just one spoon (brushing your teeth, replying to a message), while others might take three or four (going to work, socialising, or being in certain environments). Once you’ve used up your spoons, that’s it. You’re running on empty. Some things might give you spoons, but most things cost them.

Not everyone starts the day with the same number of spoons. It's impacted by how your brain works, whether you have a chronic illness, how you slept, what you've been doing in the preceding days, and whether you're at full health.

Beware the “Micro-Drains”

While big tasks can obviously cost spoons, the real danger is in the small, subtle energy drains. The micro-drains. These are the tiny, seemingly insignificant things we do (or endure) each day that chip away at our capacity without us even realising.

It might be keeping your phone notifications on all the time, tolerating scratchy clothing, forcing yourself to smile during small talk, pushing through when your brain is clearly saying “no,” or sitting in a space that’s too loud or too bright. Each one may seem minor, but together they silently drain your spoon supply.

By becoming aware of your micro-drains, you can begin to reclaim some of your energy. This might mean changing your environment slightly, giving yourself permission to opt out of draining situations, or simply paying attention to what makes your nervous system sigh with relief.

The key thing to ask yourself is "What’s draining me and is it worth the cost?"

Taking Back Control of Your Energy

So, how do you actually use Spoon Theory to live better?

Start by observing your energy patterns. Try noticing what leaves you feeling flat and what helps you feel recharged. You don’t need to track every single spoon, but having a general sense of your capacity and your limits makes it easier to make compassionate, conscious choices.

This might look like planning your day around your energy, not just your to-do list. It could mean letting go of the idea that rest needs to be “earned” or that productivity equals worth. It might involve adjusting how you approach social situations, noise, deadlines or self-care, so that you're working with your brain, not against it.

And importantly, give yourself permission to stop when your spoons run out. You don’t owe anyone an explanation beyond “I don’t have the energy for that today.” Some days, you’ll have plenty of spoons. Other days, you’ll barely make it through. That’s ok. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s awareness and self-respect.

Why Spoon Theory Helps Everyone

Although Spoon Theory is particularly relevant for neurodivergent and chronically ill people, it can help anyone become more intentional with their energy. We all have limits. We all experience stress, overwhelm, and burnout. And we all benefit from learning how to notice our own warning signs before we hit the wall.

It also creates a common language for empathy. Understanding that someone else might have started their day with fewer spoons than you fosters compassion, not judgement, so that the next time someone cancels plans or says they're overwhelmed, you’ll remember: it’s not laziness. It’s limited spoons.

Protect Your Spoons

Spoon Theory is about recognising that your time, focus and wellbeing are finite resources and that you have the right to protect them. Whether you're neurodivergent or not, your energy is valuable. You don’t have to spend it trying to keep up with a pace that doesn’t work for you. You don’t have to run on empty to prove anything. You’re allowed to use your spoons however you see fit.

Feeling low on spoons today? That’s okay. You’re still doing your best and that’s more than enough.

If you’d like support figuring out your spoons, get in touch.