Why Self-Acceptance Is Easier Than Self-Love and How You Can Practise It

If you’ve ever struggled with self-love, you’re not alone. For many of us, the idea of loving ourselves fully, unconditionally can feel overwhelming or even impossible. Maybe you’ve been through things that made you doubt your worth, or perhaps that inner critic never seems to let up. If that sounds familiar, the good news is you don’t have to start with self-love. You can start with self-acceptance.

What’s the Difference?

It’s easy to confuse the two, particularly because they’re often used interchangeably.

Self-love is often described as having affection and appreciation for who you are. It’s about nurturing yourself, celebrating your strengths, and being your own biggest supporter. But when you’re not feeling great about yourself, that level of positivity can feel like a leap too far.

Self-acceptance, on the other hand, is about being honest with yourself. It means recognising all parts of you - the strengths and the flaws, the successes and the mistakes - without judging or rejecting them. It’s not about liking everything. It’s about saying, “This is me right now, and that’s okay.”

Think of it this way:

Self-love says, “I love who I am.”

Self-acceptance says, “I’m okay with who I am, even the messy bits.”

Why Self-Acceptance Can Feel Easier

Let’s be real - love is a big word, whether it’s directed externally or internally. If your inner voice tends to be harsh or critical, asking yourself to love every part of you can feel unnatural, or even fake.

Self-acceptance gives you permission to start from a more neutral place. You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to feel positive all the time. You’re simply choosing to be kind to yourself as you are, not only when you feel “worthy”.

That shift alone can be deeply healing.

Why Both Matter

Self-acceptance creates a stable foundation. When you stop fighting yourself, you free up energy. You become more resilient, present, and compassionate, not just with yourself, but with others too. From there, self-love can be allowed to grow naturally.

Over time, you might find it easier to care for yourself, to set boundaries, to celebrate who you are.But it starts with allowing yourself to simply be. Equally, self-acceptance might be as far as you go and that’s entirely valid too. It’s ok to accept who you are, faults and all, without feeling the need to say you love yourself.

How You Can Practise Self-Acceptance

1. Notice Your Inner Voice. Pay attention to how you speak to yourself. If it’s critical question where it comes from. Is it even your voice or simply repeating unhealthy over the years? Journaling can help you identify unhelpful patterns and where they came from.

   
   

2. Replace Judgment with Curiosity. Instead of saying “I shouldn’t feel this way,” when you feel challenging emotions, try “I’m feeling this way, and that’s okay.” Accepting your emotions doesn’t mean you like them, it just means you’re not fighting reality.

   
   

3. Make Space for All of You. You don’t need to erase or change the parts of you that feel difficult. Acceptance means allowing them to be there, without letting them define you. If you want to move towards a place of self-love you can try to focus instead on the things you like about yourself.

   
   

4. Celebrate Small Wins. Accepting yourself doesn’t mean giving up on growth. It means being kind to yourself during the process. Recognise progress, even if it feels minor.

   
   

5. Reach Out for Support. You don’t have to do this alone. Try opening up to friends and family if you feel comfortable. Alternatively, talking to a therapist can help you explore self-acceptance in a safe, supported way. If that’s something you're considering, I can help.

Self-Acceptance Is Enough

If self-love feels out of reach, that’s okay. Self-acceptance is more than enough. Start there. Be kind to yourself where you are. And trust that, from that place, love may be able to grow. If you'd like help practicing self-acceptance - get in touch.