How to Train Your Brain to Focus on the Positives

Our brains are wired for survival, not happiness. From an evolutionary perspective, we are naturally more attuned to threats than to positive experiences. Which makes a lot of sense when you think about it - to get to this point in humankind’s existence we needed to know at all times whether we were in danger so we could avoid it. The problem is that this negativity bias means we tend to dwell on what went wrong rather than what went right in most situations. But the good news is that, just like a muscle, our brains can be trained to shift focus so we are better able to recognise and appreciate the positives in everyday life.

Your Brain Loves Patterns

Your brain is constantly searching for patterns to match your existing experiences and knowledge to, which helps you make sense of the world. This ability is essential for learning, problem-solving, and decision-making. However, if you repeatedly focus on the negatives such as the things that went wrong your brain strengthens the neural pathways that reinforce this habit. Which means that, over time, you become more likely to notice and dwell on the negatives.

On the other hand, when you deliberately look for positives, you create new neural connections that make optimism and gratitude more automatic. The more you train your mind to find good things, the more natural it becomes. Which is why simple exercises such as writing down three positive things each day can have a surprisingly big impact.

The Power of Writing Down Three Positives Each Day

Kindness isn’t just about what you do for those around us, it’s also about how you treat yourself. Too often, we’re kind and compassionate to others while holding ourselves to an unrealistic standard, speaking to ourselves in ways we would never dream of speaking to a friend. The fact is, how you talk to and about yourself matters. If you’re constantly being unkind to yourself, putting yourself down and focusing only on the things you perceive you’ve done wrong, your mental health will decline. When you allow yourself grace, recognising that you’re doing the best you can, you create an internal environment that allows your confidence to thrive.

Be Kind For And To Your Mental Health

One of my favourite exercises to get clients to do when they need to refocus their attention to the positives is by writing down three good things at the end of each day. This practice, often referred to as the “Three Good Things” exercise, encourages your mind to scan for positives, even on difficult days.

Most clients are sceptical about its effectiveness because it sounds far too simple to work, but I’m yet to find someone it doesn’t work for! The reason it’s so effective is because you’re training your brain to recognise the positives each day, which then means you start actively looking for things to add to your list. By doing the practice daily, you’re strengthening those pathways within your brain so you eventually get to a point where you can’t help but notice the positives because your brain is doing it automatically. At first it might be a struggle to find three good things every day but after a few weeks you’ll be able to find way more than three.

Three Tips for Making It a Habit

1. If you want to train your brain to focus on the positives, consistency is key which is why I recommend doing it every day. It will feel like work at first but keep at it, pretty soon your list of good things will be as long as your arm.

   
   

2. Many clients enjoy doing the practice before bed as it helps end your day on a positive note and primes your brain to seek out positives the following day. It also acts as a moment of reflection, which can help balance out other noise.

   
   

3. Celebrate the small things as much as the big. Not every day will be jam-packed with life-altering moments, so it's important to find joy in the mundane. It also helps to be specific, so instead of writing “Today was a good day,” note what made it good. Did you have a nice chat with a friend? Enjoy a great meal? Finish a task you’d been avoiding? Be as a specific as possible.

Train Your Brain to Focus on the Positives

By training your brain to notice the good, you’re not ignoring life’s difficulties, you’re simply choosing not to let them overshadow the positives. It’s a small shift with a big impact. So, why not start tonight? Write down three good things, and take the first step towards a more positive mindset.

If you'd like help refocusing your brain - get in touch.